Overflowing Emotions

"They" say that you're supposed to feel better when you talk about your feelings. I don't think that's true.

So I'm thinking about how my friends and I don't talk anymore. Or rather, how I don't talk to them anymore. They don't realize that I'm upset at all over the prom thing. I don't know if I want them to know though. I don't want them to ruin their plans for my sake. At the same time, I wish that they had considered me in their plans. Lugee came really close to figuring out that I was upset, but I know he's not the best person to confide in, so I acted like he was insane for thinking that there was something wrong.

I can't seem to find someone to confide in. Scratch that. I don't know who to confide in. Maybe that's the problem.

Ugh Prom.

So much has happened since I last posted. I don't really want to talk about all of it, but rather just what's on my mind now. So prom is coming up, and yes, I have a date, but we're only going as friends, because, after all, he is gay. Anyways, I have no where to sit. All the people I asked have rejected me. This would include two people who I would consider to be my best friends: ashley and shivangi. I'm so tired of it all. It's like I'm always the one that's left out, and stuff. I thought they'd atleast invite me to their after party. Clearly, that didn't happen. I hate this. This is like, what everyone fears: rejection.

I can't stand it anymore! Even when we went to Ottawa, those two hung around together and left me sitting alone. In math, Shivangi just ditched me completely, and sits with Nimrat. I understand that their crew has been friends for a long time, but couldn't they just take the time to even consider me? Yeah, okay, so their prom table was full, but the after party? You have to leave me behind for that too? This makes me realize that I only have the facade of friends, and not any real ones.

I asked Deepika about it, via e-mail, and she just completely ignored it, and just called me instead of replying to it. Plus, I really don't want to end up sitting with knika and them, just because I', going to feel really uncomfortable. Oh well, I think I'll make my own table and invite people to join. Okay, well i have to go work on my endless ISUs for school. Thank God there's only a month and a bit left of that place.